Put Your Tiny Hand in Mine

Back in my youth, I was obsessed with George Michael.  I first discovered him when Wham’s Make It Big came out in the States.  I listened to Careless Whisper over and over.

And then on a trip to visit family in Toronto with my Mom,  I discovered they had a previous album.  Fantastic was not sold in the States at the time.  So I bought that and became very popular in my small town Ohio neighborhood.  I was the one with the unbuyable Wham record!!  We jammed to Wham Rap, Bad Boys, and Young Guns.  I can still sing every word.

After that Music from the Edge of Heaven came out.  I bought that and, in my bedroom, I choreographed the title song.  It wasn’t the first song I had choreographed in my bedroom as an eager kid.  I used to make up dances all the time.  I remember choreographing Why Can’t This Be Love by Van Halen (that included a difficult spin I couldn’t achieve), Let the Music Play by Shannon (that was a duo without a second person), and Smokin’ by Boston.  I performed that one for the neighbor kids who made fun of me.

The reason I remember The Edge of Heaven so well is because I put a move in it I now call bondage arms.  George Michael sings about tying up this girl he wants to ravage and I created moves to match what he was singing.  FYI, I was much too young for that but to this day the music I use dictates what I do.  I am realizing now that it was a song written by George Michael that first pushed me outside the choreography box and that I’ve pretty much stayed there.

When he died, articles and shows were saying that he was ahead of his time which is very true.  He was singing about whatever he was thinking long before others were.  And he is another example of art being whatever you want.  He tied that girl up in ’86, he sang “wise guys realize there’s danger in emotional ties” and “death by matrimony” back in ’82.  He sang “There’s a place for us in a dirty movie ’cause no one does it better than me and you”.  I was quite pure in my youth but I thought nothing of these lyrics.  I guess art was art to me even then.

So I’m writing about this because I really didn’t realize until he died that he was part of what inspired me on my strange beautiful artist’s journey.  I was listening to satellite radio –the George Michael dedication station and The Edge of Heaven came on.  I hadn’t heard that song in at least twenty years and I instantly remembered the bondage choreography that a young me in small town USA created.

Now I can’t stop listening.  I’ve got a Spotify playlist I created blasting right now.  I’m very proud of it.  I’m Your Man is currently playing.  In that one he sings, “I wanna take you, wanna make you but they tell me it’s a crime.”

It would have been a crime, George but I would not have cared!!


Girl Fight

I recently watched the show Feud:  Bette and Joan.  It was the story of the real life feud between Bette Davis and Joan Crawford in Hollywood.  I gotta say I was shocked.  You think I would stop being shocked at how cruel women can be after all these years of working with women but I haven’t hit that insensitive point yet.

If the show was accurate, the reason they hated one another was because back in their heyday Joan was the prettier one and Bette was the more talented one.  That’s why they took turns doing nasty, terrible things to one another for years.  Here is a quote from Bette Davis about Joan Crawford on the day she died, “You should never say bad things about the dead, you should only say good.  Joan Crawford is dead.  Good.”

Here’s my question:  Did the cruel things they did change the fact that one was prettier and the other was a better actress??  After an evil revenge deed, did the executer of the deed go home and feel good and peaceful about the pain and humiliation she caused??  I guess I don’t understand the point.  I’m the type of person that if I did something cruel and clever (because it would be very clever) I would go home after I was done and feel guilty and horrible about it.  Hate myself.  And try to fix it the next day.

How many others would feel the same??  Being a belly dancer, teacher, event planner, etc. I can say with all honesty that in my experience there is no shortage of women who have that mean streak inside them.  When they want something they can’t have or don’t want someone else to have something, they can do and say some unkind things.  I’ve seen it more than I would have thought back when I was a young hopeful.

I also read a book recently called Behind the Burly-Q by Leslie Zemeckis.  In it there was a chapter devoted to the mean things burlesque dancers would do to one another backstage during shows.  The thing that stuck out in my mind was itching power being put in costumes.  Then the dancer would go on stage and be in agony while trying to perform.  And why would someone do that to a fellow performer??  Well, said performer got more applause and made others JEALOUS!!  Jealousy is often the culprit.  Once in awhile it’s power.  I have had a few problems with the “I do what I want” crowd myself.  Still jealousy is a rampant problem in the arts.

So what do we do??  Easy answer:  you can’t do anything.  Bette and Joan were decades ago and the Burly-Q was a different time as well.  This is just how it was, is, and will be.  And if you were like me before I read the book and saw the show, you might still be hoping people will chill out and be nice.  Allow this to be part of the research that helps you to realize they won’t.

But it’s ok!!  The positives outweigh the negatives in the arts.  Throw it into your creativity and maybe bank some good comebacks to put the nasty girls in their place.  That’s my recommendation.  I’m not telling you what to do though. 😉


April March

Today I went to the Science March with my friend and fellow dancer, Sophie.  It was my first March and/or protest ever.  Mainly because I’m not a citizen thus not a voter so I feel like I don’t have much of a voice.  I didn’t have a particular thing I was marching for, just the experience of it and I thought it might be nice to be around others who are also concerned about the current climate of the States.

Now that I have experienced one, here are my secret thoughts about protests:

1.  The signs are the best part.  Reading the cleverness of people is fun.  My favorite was “Science = Beer”.  I love that someone took the time to make that sign and then get themselves downtown so people saw it.

2.  The worst part for me is the yelling.  Hands down!!  People repeating the same phrase over and over and over and over in a stern, “I mean business” tone grated on my nerves.  I read an article on extremely sensitive people– which I am.  It made me feel better when I read the list of things that really bother sensitive people.  I felt less crazy and edgy.  One of the things on the list was repetitive noises and phrases.  It’s something that has always gotten in my nerves and now I know I’m sensitive, not cranky.  Anyway, aside from the protest yelling bugging me, I don’t really get the point.  Screaming the same thing again and again to the people who already feel the same way you do seems like a waste to me.  I am new at this, however, so maybe it will grow on me??  #IBetItDoesnt.

3.  I didn’t bring a sign with me but I decided while I was marching that if I did have one I would want it to say, “I like cures.”  Simple.  To the point.  I think that will be my protest identity.  State the obvious in that sarcastic way of mine.

Now that I have my protest identity, I wonder if I will ever use it??  I’m still deciding if protests and marches are my thing.  I don’t love people knowing too much about how I feel about politics because it’s gotten so hostile these days.  I’m seeing a large amount of hate ranting for things as simple as not agreeing on an opinion.  While there have been scarier, I do believe it is a scary time.  I have one or two issues that I can’t sit by and not talk about but I will save those for another blog.

And on a completely different note–to end my blog, I thought I might try creating my own finale’ quote.  I want to find the right one.  I’ll try this one first:
“The only thing worse than liars and amateurs are lying amateurs!!”


Turning This Blog Around

It seems I haven’t blogged in two years.  I think I will change that.  I’ll change everything.  Titles, expand subject matter, all of it.  Make it about me as well as dance.

I’ve really gotten into the media part of dance.  My brother moved back to town and he is recording all of our stuff and making videos for us.  They are on my Vimeo page–Jezebel Shuvani or this crazy link:  https://vimeo.com/user15492698/videos/sort:date

I’ve learned so much from watching the performances.  I should attach the link to my website http://www.JezFever.com.  I’m still learning how to deal with these things like a pro but I’m growing slowly.  I’ve even started an Instagram page and I’ve always had a Twitter.  Both are @JezFever.
And now I’m blogging again.  Blogs to look forward to:  why I have lost hope that people will someday be nice, how I run my dance company and stay sane (jk, I’m not sane),   Unfriended–insult or gift??, the discipline of creation.  For that and more keep an eye on me!!