The Warped Wall

So a few days back I went to downtown Cleveland to watch a taping of American Ninja Warrior.  I was very excited to go as I am a huge fan of that show.  (Fun fact:  the qualifying round and the finals round are taped ONE DAY apart.  The announcers say “it’s been six weeks since the qualifying round in Cleveland”.  Which is–what’s the word for it??  Oh yeah, a LIE.  Why exactly??  They could just say we are back in Cleveland.  Which they are.  One day later.  Unnecessary lie.  In my opinion.)

Anyway, I got a great spot in the audience.  I was standing next to The Warped Wall.  I could see nearly every obstacle and then the wall close up.  I was also standing in front of the “green room” where the ninjas were hanging out.  Some of the most famous ninjas were standing right behind me.  And running up the wall in front of me.  I also had a 20 minute conversation with one of the ninjas who was giving me the scoop!!  So awesome!!

So to the point.  It made me want muscles.  I’ve never had muscles before.  I’m not a spring chicken really and I’ve been dancing with this soft body for 20 years but I want to see what it’s like to have muscles.  So this is me, printing my goal for the purpose of using the possible humiliation of failure as my driving force.  Taunt me about my no muscles, blog.  Drive me!!  I want a six pack and arm muscles large enough that crazy women dancers think twice before tossing their abuse my way.

I’ll just add —if you get a chance, go to a taping of ANW.  It’s a blast!!


Winterson is Coming

I’m not a watcher of Games of Thrones.  I’m sure it’s as great as everyone says and I love Peter Dinkledge but I can’t watch anything violent.  I’m too sensitive so I tend to gravitate towards weird books and independent movies.  I like suggesting awesomely odd books to people so I think I’ll start a book club like the Oprah book club.  Except instead of Oprah it’s me making the suggestions.  And instead of great life changing novels it’s great offbeat stories that entertain me and readers who are like me.  It’s the Jez book club.

First up:  Lighthousekeeping by Jeannette Winterson.  Winterson is a great author for weird awesome stories.  This one is about a girl, Silver who becomes an orphan and ends up being raised in a lighthouse.  Pew is the loner who raises her and tells her stories and teaches her to be a great story teller because according to him, that is the job of a lighthouse keeper.

As with other Winterson tales, time does not seem to exist.  It leaves me a little sad and wishing it were like that in this real world where the clock seems to be ticking faster and faster.

My favorite passage in this book comes from a character in love:

“I never wanted to wake.  I had no use for the day.  The light was a lie.  Only here, the sun killed, and time’s hands bound, we were free.  Imprisoned in each other, we were free.”

It just makes me want to feel like that.  And have someone else feel like that.  I want to be in that moment dreading the light with someone just once.  “The light was a lie” is my “The cake is a lie” for a different type of nerd.

Anyway, read it.  Love it.  And if you would like to, tell me what you think.  The Jez Book Club might be fun!!


Bleeding Love

We had a show Sunday at the Akron Oddmall.  At the show I somehow cut open my left heel.  A seriously deep, bloody cut.  How??  I don’t know.  I was dancing in a sword piece with two other dancers and I felt something going on with my heel.  I brushed it off because what could I do??  There was a sword on my head and I was in the middle of a routine.  And everyone knows I only leave the stage when my top falls off (happened once), or when I’m going to pass out (happened once).

So I must list things I did not leave the stage for so I don’t seem weak.  I did not leave the stage:  when I broke my toe mid-routine, when I stepped on glass and it was trapped in my foot, when I had food poisoning (miserable), and now when I cut my heel open.

Anyway, I didn’t know about my bloody heel until the next routine when another dancer, Nikki, was standing behind me and said, “Oh, Jez.  Your foot.”  I looked at it.  Bloody mess.  But again what could I do.  I finished the show with bloodiness added to our visual appeal and went home to treat my foot.  It wasn’t so bad.  You don’t feel much mid-show.  My broken toe was worse pain.  That was mid-show too and again, what could I do??

Belly dancing is hard on feet.  But it’s awesome.  Totally worth dancing through the pain of an occasional injury.  I’m no football player.  I only got a concussion from a show once.  But that’s another story.