I decided that is going to be the name of my poetry book. Isn’t it a great title?? It captures that disheartened feeling one gets when they have the blues. And also that feeling that you get when you think you are the only one that’s hopeless only to see that many people take the rest-free trip around ceaseless pain.
Why am I blue?? The number one reason is the arctic blast that has turned out to be three months and still going. I have gotten Seasonal Affective Disorder in the past but not very frequently–only in bad endless winters like this one. I can think of three times it’s gone above freezing since November.
There are other reasons for my blues as well. Generally, I haven’t made choices that I’m confident are the right ones and I’m in a place where I can’t yet see a happy finish line. I had completely given up on any kind of settled life thinking that it just isn’t in my cards. Looking back at that makes me sad. I had just decided I would never be happy to the point that I reacted to things out of fear without any thought in my head saying I could have a life. I have a kind of half life right now that is responsible for the rest of my fierce and endless blues. Do I have an amazing future coming up?? I can’t see through the fog. A great book of Plathy poems might make it through though. Watch for it!!